Yes I am alone; and yes I am free to be anything I want,
I am the only child and often a lonely one too
Many think I am pampered and selfish but hey;
Isn’t everyone that?!
I have my duties and commitments
Just like you…yet I am judged at your convenience
I was a free bird who has just become caged and has forgotten to fly
Amidst myriad chores and responsibilities.
But fly I will, someday because the power is within me…
Sreeja penned down her thoughts after many days; she was both surprised and happy at that. After many days she found some time for herself and she didn’t know what to do with it. Then the sudden rains and the moist smell of the soil made it happen for her…
On a cloudy afternoon, she started writing her blog which she has been neglecting for a while. The rains that lashed out soon after made her run to the terrace to save her dry clothes. Half drenched and with a pile of clothes in her hands, Sreeja noticed the slanting pattern of the rain and stretched out her hand to feel the pouring. A sudden electrifying feeling reached her heart which made her impulsively dump the clothes in the store room and go back to the rains – to dance with them and to loose herself in them – something she used to enjoy in her Kolkata home when she was young. The rains in Kolkata after the hot summer were always welcome! In those days, it was pure joy to get drenched in the rains but now, the floodgates of tears ran down her eyes in urgency. Sreeja felt relieved and blessed of her solitude at home. She was free to think about herself after many days.
She has everything yet nothing – her very own ‘nest’ with her husband, their adorable daughter, yet she was lonely and empty from within. She yearns to talk to her mom like the olden days, go out shopping with her, but can never do that as she has lost all her physical ability to cancer and Sreeja has become her secondary caregiver, after her dad. She feels bad for both of them yet puts up a brave face in front of them. Her only hope is her little child who makes her smile; she can spend hours just by looking at her innocent face!
Amidst all these her job pressure is there –for her, a job is a necessity and not a ‘modern day fashion statement’ as her mother-in-law once hinted.
Dancing in the rains gave a news lease of life to her that day – she found a meaning to life – she is alone (just like anybody else) but she is free to choose her path. She chose to be optimistic – to love herself and to usher life with positive spirit. Because if anyone can help her, it is she herself.
She turned to her writing as it was always therapeutic for her. And her all-time favourite Robert Frost.
“The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.”